Jewish Dating Blog | The inside scoop – Jewish Dating wisdom from the Matchmaker

Mar/13

27

Your ideal match, is there really one?

This isn’t so much dating advise but a story to share with you – I hope you will learn something from it:

When I hear people are still looking for there ideal match, I want to ask them so many questions. Do you expect to meet the perfect person? Are we perfect? Everyone has some flaws – how can we go into a relationship without trying to compromise? Marriage is all about compromise, working hard – it is probably the most difficult thing in our lives, or will be – to make a good marriage great.

If you ask most of your friends – will they answer that they have a great marriage – or it can be a little better. I think today with all the modern technology we are loosing our way to communicate – communication of the voice. Speaking to each other, instead of texting – emailing – messaging, it is time to talk and communicate with each other to find out if there is enough mutual similarities to make it work.

Marriage: I know of a couple who spent 57 years arguing – about the big and small things.

Woman: Clean fanatic who would vacuum three times a day, use a sponge in the bathroom sink to clean up after each use, everything in its place. Taught her children to put away there clothes – but convinced when they left for school went into the rooms to straighten up (as no children had that clean a room). Had a house full of people, during all the holidays, open door policy for friends, relatives and anyone who wanted, including the animals that some how ended up in the house. Managed to do all this as the husband traveled for a living coming home on weekends – and sometimes being gone weeks at a time, when the distance was to great to make it home.

Man: His idea of clean was leaving the newspapers piling up for days, clothes thrown all around. Wasn’t around too much to teach the children – but when he was he was, they had good and bad memories. If he couldn’t handle things or if the kids did anything wrong he tended to yell. Enjoyed the people around the house as much as she did, and had no problem if relatives, friends or animals where around.

Together they brought up children – kept the extended family around, made a home for many. They traveled each summer and winter together with the kids, even if it was getting in a car and traveling for hours to visit family who moved away. Planned a European Vacation for the family which took them 5 years to save for, just so everyone could be together for quality time.

The woman wasn’t too healthy but with all her times in the hospital the man was constantly by her side. As they got older and the health issues got worse for both of them, he was by her side, including cleaning up after her.

This couple, my parents, they may have not had the great marriage, but they had a good one. My mother passed away last week, and my father cried, for loosing his wife and best friend. They survived the marriage and I only hope that I can say one day that my husband and I can do for each other in the end what my parents did for one another.

Marriage is hard work, and if everyone’s expectations while dating are that they are looking for the perfect relationship, I doubt you will find it. Look for someone that will have the personality to stay with you, work through the differences, be there for each other in the good times and bad. Be open with each other, and trust one another, that is what will work.

In memory of Raizel bas Chana B”H (you are missed)

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