I married someone I never thought I would marry. He was intelligent and could have a great conversation but was that enough? He hadn’t finished college ( here I was with my million degrees), he was less experienced and worldly then I was and we didn’t necessarily share the same exact interests.
Why did I marry him? Well at first I wasn’t even sure I wanted to date him past the 3rd date. He was trying so hard, that I was getting scared and wanted to run fast the other way. Then a good friend turned to me and said breath, think about it and tell him to slow down. All he is doing is trying to be nice and see where things will take you. As I started to get to know him better, I realized that he was a great person. Here was someone willing to grow and work on himself. Someone who could admit to being wrong, someone who wanted to give so much to his partner and someone who was very loving. I also began to realize we had the same goals in life and we both wanted to move in the same direction- which I believe is essential in a good relationship. I also began to realize here was someone that could be my partner for life, who would work through the good and bad until we got things right and to me that was more important then a degree or how tall he was. I had to push to see all that and take my guard down but when I did I knew that he was the one I was going to marry. My husband will tell you he knew all along, but I wasn’t so sure and that is ok. Sometimes, especially those of us who have been in bad relationships in the past need to give it time to see if the match is really going to work. I always recommend speaking to a good friend or a matchmaker to help you look at the relationship in an objective manner.
My rule always was with dating was that if nothing is really telling you “no” then one more date won’t harm you.