Jewish Dating On-Line many people are trying it to meet that special someone – as a Matchmaker we hear -”we want to meet someone with this type of personality, or someone who is sensitive, caring considerate. Not “cheap”. Certain personality traits can not be found out by a phone call.  Even though our service – Jretromatch - has at least one benefit over some of the other sites, as we actually speak with our members to get a better “sense” of who they are, we still may not “pick-up” certain character traits that so many people are asking us for.

Were on-line dating may not be the perfect situation for everyone, it can be the first step for introduction. What was blind-dating so many years ago, at least now you have the opportunity to review a brief profile, and photo’s prior to accept a match.

I still find though, that with on-line dating people become more “picky” because they have the profile they can reveiw and decide by just a short few paragraphs if this person is for them. Unless there is really very specific things mentioned – how they want to raise a family, political orientation that may be so different then your own, a specific trait that you don’t get along with – why not accept the potential match. A phone call is the next step, and then you can discuss certain issues that are important to you – and find out if there could be more potential.

In Jewish Dating – I some times believe that the Orthodox community has a better outlook on dating. When you find out that someone has gotten engaged only after 3-10 dates…how could this be, how can someone consider marriage after such a short time, how can someone really know a person after only a few dates, how…

Well, the dating is different, the discussion is values, what you want and see for your future, is this person good, kind, considerate. Yes there may even be checking the people out before they go out to see if there is potential for this match.

The dating is not spending two years ( or more) going out and having fun, dinner dates, social activities, vacations together to see if we can live together”. Take this out of the picture – during this time – you may have fun, travel around, but are you also speaking with each other, and figuring out if you have the same “plans”, expectations of what you want in a marriage?

Dating is difficult, no matter how you go out and search for your partner. But before you actual date, really decide why are you dating. Is it for a casual relationship – to have the fun with someone so you are not on your own? Or is it to meet your future partner? When you really decide why you want to date, then when it come’s to on-line dating or any other method, don’t “kid” yourself, you may actual have met and because you where to “picky” they are no longer available.

Technorati Tags: Dating, Dating scene, Jewish dating, Jewish Dating Sites, On-line

Dating · Dating scene · Jewish dating · Jewish Dating Sites · On-line

I read so many profile’s being a matchmaker and everyone always speak about what there ideal match should be. But what if your ideal match is not what you think s/he should be?

If I wrote a profile of what I was looking for when I was single it would be something like this…

Energenic, fun, spontaneous woman who loves travel, the outdoors, exploring and going off the beaten track. Enjoys hiking, skiing, and is open to try anything once, except for bungee jumping. Is not really into music, but do enjoy it when I hear it and have to say I am a little bit county and rock and roll…enjoys dancing, dinner’s out, good conversation. Is Modern Orthodox/Conservadox, wears pants and is not planning on covering her hair. Loves Shabbat and the traditions of Judaism. Spending time with family and friends. Have a huge extended family that are very close, and even though we live far apart we all do our best to stay in touch. Loves kids, and hoping to have a few. Sometimes I feels like one , and will do silly things that are unexpected. Enjoys life, and is very independant

Looking for similar, but if not you are willing to, and we can find ways to compromise.  If you are not religious that is fine, as long as you are willing to take on some, if you are divorced/with or without children, hopefully you have secure employment. Career doesn’t matter, but being employed does, with a position for your kids and ours, and together we can work it out. 

Have no set physical expectations as long as when we meet the chemistry can grow. Lets meet and see how it goes.

Okay reality: Found my partner.

He loves to stay at home, has no desire to travel or experience anything new. Keeps in touch with some of his family but with the extended family rarely knows what they are doing. When we met he was between jobs, and no real profession, had just left the police force after 20 years and was going from job to job, security – LOL – NONE.  Relgious: We where pretty much on the same level so that was good. He was divorced with 2 children, and no job. Not into going out, did I mention just likes to be home. Hiking, skiing, travel…in his mind it is a waste of time.

Today: Happily married – we have 2 children – that where adopted ( that is a whole other story), we are close to his children as well – but distance makes it difficult. When I want to do things usually take the kids and we have a great time. He stays at home. Haven’t skiied in 8 years. Travel – we moved to Israel away from family and close friends, so our travel is to visit everyone. I will now attempt to book trips with a stopover so we can get a chance to see another country – or an airport and we can say we where there. Next stop Kiev.

I love to go out, I just say we are going and he will agree – but his preference is a dinner in the house with the kids. Hiking – places to visit around the county – he usually views it from my photo’s.

But we have made it work..oh..religion. We are Shomer Shabbat – don’t eat out in non-kosher restaurants, I have stopped wearing pants, and do cover my hair.

So my suggestion to all of you. Ideal matches – forget it, meet someone who is nice, supportive, who together you can work everything out – compromise and make it work. Otherwise – I guess you will remain single.

If you are open to meet – the try the many on-line dating sites,

Technorati Tags: Dating, ideal match, profile's, Your profile

Dating · ideal match · profile's · Your profile

 

Caption reads – Due to his pioneering work with mouthwash no one dared to tell him about his own breath

So this may be a little extreme but this is a serious topic to discuss. When you are going out on a date - take care of yourself personally. You want to look good, but also remember you will be sitting next to this person and want to impress them. This could be the first date and you would hope it would lead to others.

Prepare yourself – If you are a person that normally doesn’t use deordorant – maybe consider some. Brush your teeth, shower and wash your hair then comb it.  Dress nicely, don’t mean fancy, just clean clothes that have recently been washed.

If you are not sure – look around you and ask a friend – for assistance.  Dating is serious – and if you are serious about it then prepare yourself in every possible way.

If you have a friend that you feel can use some help then I recommend you discussing this topic with them, at first they really may not appreciate it but in the long run I am sure you are doing them a great favour.

When you are ready to date, there are many options out there in Jewish Dating - use ever resource available to you.

Technorati Tags: Date, Jewish dating, Prepare for the date

Date · Jewish dating · Prepare for the date

We are all looking for the ideal match – (or for some looked) – but will we find it. I think this sums it up – and for the person who gave it me if you are reading the Blog - I thank you

 “It is probably better to get a Good man/(woman) w/ a Good soul, than to try to obtain a perfect match on paper”

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Is it Jewish Dating so difficult – or dating in general. The answer – dating in general. Putting two people together – it is hard enough to meet someone, and when you do – figure out if they are someone you would like to see again.

Wouldn’t it be easy if we can meet a person, and let it just happen easily – but for some reason it is not easy. Dating, and figuring out how to meet is hard work – just like so many things in our life. SO look at dating as one more challenge in our life..and just to let you know – when you do meet – it is more difficult to keep the relationship together.

Oh. why can’t things be easy????

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Okay this is something we hear all the time when trying to make matches.

“We are so different” – why would you even think about this as a potential partner..know why ???

 Let me tell you…I am married 9 years now – and I really don’t know too many things that my husband and I are compatible with.

We went on a trip the other day with my daughters and 200 other people. It was amazing – a wonderful hike in an incredible Canyon – it was so beaufiful – as we where walking though – his comment – “okay why are we doing this…”

Then a Jeep Tour through the Desert – we are driving through – to me it was so amazing to have the opportunity to experience this, him – no animals – same scenery…”are we having fun yet..”

Then another incredible experience -  a Bedoin telling stories in the tent and enjoying Tea and snacks then a Camel ride..(okay the camel ride I can understand – a little difficult for men to be in the saddle) – but what a day.

(Yes I live in Israel)…but to be able to take a trip like this and in one day have the experience’s we did..his comments – are we having fun…why are we doing this…

Vacation’s I love them – to experience new things – get away what ever we do I look at as an experience, and to open my (our) eyes to new things..he is happy at home.

It is not only activities..child rearing, music, he likes being at home, me I need to go out and explore, have fun ..

Yes we are different and I question how and why we are together – but we are together and happily married, yes we have our differences but we work it out, and make it work. Just because you may not be with someone who is “compatible” doesn’t mean it won’t work. Sometime’s we have to open up and really look at other qualities that the person has. What was it for me..I know what ever happens he will be there for me – in sickness, for me and my family, he is supportive – and will encourage me – and HE IS THERE FOR ME..

So figure out what you really want – and what is important to you, you may be surprised..

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Let’s be real, if you expect, tall, dark, handsome, extremely wealthly, and you are not willing to leave your own city, unless it is to vacation – with him to some exotic place, the chances of meeting someone like this, next to NIL.

Especially, if on the first phone call, you ask, how much do you earn, where do you live, and what do you look like.

If these are your expectations – I say look at yourself, are you this as well?

It is time to be realistic. The person, if this is what you want, then I say network in your own circles, this is probably not what you will find on a dating site.

I will tell you a little story – A young couple was engaged. He was from very wealthy family. They went to look for the engagement ring in New York City diamond industry, if you live in New York you can relate. She kept on looking, he would point something out to her, she would look, try on, and say – no, a little different, a little bigger stone. They moved to the next counter, and the next, this continued to happen, no a little better quality, bigger stone…

Finally, he looked at her, and said, if this is what you think, the engagements is off, it’s my parents money and not mine. He walked out of the area, leaving her standing there. Moral of the story – don’t only look what is in the pockets, or what you think is. Look for the person, what they can offer you. How they treat you and others.

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Love at first sight” is a familiar romantic notion. And in our increasingly fast-paced world, it’s darn convenient to think you can tell if you click with someone that quickly. But experts recommend cultivating a bit more patience, sticking to a three-date minimum to know for sure whether you’re a match (or not). The reason: People are a bundle of nerves on date #1, begin to unwind on date #2, but only by date #3 can people truly relax and maybe build some rapport. And while sparks early on are nice and all, they say nothing about someone’s long-term potential. “An important part of a compatible relationship is assuring that each partner’s values coincide, and to learn that takes time, discussion, observation, and interpersonal interaction, not an initial impression based on superficial cues,” says James C. Piers, Ph.D., professor and program director of social work, at Hope College in Holland, MI. So, don’t write someone off — or fall head over heels — until you’ve done due diligence.

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What does it take for some people to meet? Photo’s, profile’s, well this is great, but if you don’t see or read what you like, it is very easy to just decline or say no. By doing this you may be loosing out on meeting you potential match.

Does it hurt to just say say yes! Meet up – face to face is so much easier to really see if you are compatible. If distance is a issue, then at least speak to each other before you make a final decision.

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Sometimes you may not be ready for a match, or you receive some information on someone, and you decide at that time you are not ready. Who is to say that if/when things change for you that you can’t reconsider later on. Keep all option open.

Circumstance’s can change, or it may even be a time in your life when you are willing to open yourself up just a little more to someone that you may have not considered yesterday. Go for it, that person may just be right for you.

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