Jewish Dating Blog | The inside scoop – Jewish Dating wisdom from the Matchmaker

CAT | Jewish singles

I remember when I was dating, I was so frustrated with having to start over again each time I met a new person. I felt like a broken record, repeating the same story about my life that seemed to fascinate most men and get me to keep dating them for awhile. Then things usually fizzled off because of the lack of chemistry or attraction and I would find myself again at square one, having to tell another guy all about me and what I was looking for. It was so tiring and frustrating. Being the ever optimist what I learned to do after each guy was to re-evaluate what I was looking for and what was really important in a match. I really started to feel that each guy I met brought me closer to finding my match as I learned more about myself and what I was looking for. Try to make the best out of dating and make it as much of a positive experience as possible. Make it a way for you to grow, to get to know more about yourself. You might as well since you will be hearing your life story over and over again :)

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You have been spending so much time dating, that once in awhile it may be worth it to stop and take a break. Clear your head, refocus, and relax. You may need a few weeks or months. But after the break you may feel a little better about the process

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Ok I know, the sign up process can be long and just when you thought it was over you get to that box with the line on top that says min. of 25 characters. You all know what I am talking about and I have also been guilty of getting to that spot and not wanting to write. The problem is that this is the most important part of your profile. Without a well thought of answer it not only makes it hard for the matchmakers to make a match for you but also for other members to really get a feel for what you are like. Take your time, even if you sign up one day and only fill that in the next few days that is fine. A well written profile will get you much further with online Jewish dating. Think of your profile as your resume, it should highlight the best things about you and give a reflection of what you are like. Also don’t make it too long or too short either way the reader will get lost or bored. I also highly recommend you asking a good friend to read it over for you or at least ask one of us matchmakers for some advice on it. What should be written? Talk a bit about yourself, who you are, what you like to do, where you see yourself going in the future. Mention things that are important to you in your life. Imagine you are on your first date, and you really are excited about this person, what are some of the first things you would want to tell him or her? The next important paragraph is describing what you are looking for. Make it brief and not a list but give a general idea of what you think would be an ideal match. For those of you who don’t know and should know there is actually a box you can write things just to us matchmakers. I think it really helpful to the matchmakers and gives us a little extra info about what you are looking for that you might not want to have mentioned earlier.

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Don’t give up, don’t let anyone tell you that you are getting to old to find your partner, too old for children, (there is always adoption), or you are not marriage material. If you really want to get married, then just continue to look at all your options to dating, till the right person come’s your way.

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and even when you are not. Stay active, enjoy life. Don’t let the dating scene be the only outlet in your life. Between dates this will get really lonely. Be your own person, when dating this will come out, and you will be a better person for it. If you are out there enjoying yourself, Museums, Coffee Shops, Sports, whatever you enjoy to do, will also give you something to talk about on your date.

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Jewish Dating, like anything else is difficult and frustrating, but we have to attempt to go through this if we want to meet someone. What are some signs that this person could be for you? After a few dates you feel really comfortable with each other, you want to share your day/night together, you want to pick up the phone to just say hi, you think about each other, you have a smile on your face..and you feel good when you are together.

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You are out on your first date, try to focus and find the good qualities of each other. You may not ‘click’ right away. The first date is just to see if you have enough in common to go out again.

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Picky..picky..picky…are you being this way..Stop, or your chances of meeting your partner are going to get more difficult over time..open yourself up.

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You are planning on calling the person for the first time, ( or even subsequent calls after the first date)

*  Don’t call late in the evening

* if the person isn’t home, leave a message not long winded, introduce yourself, and leave a time when they could call you back

* if they say that they are a little traditional, or observant don’t call over Shabbos, or just a few hours before

* if you don’t hear from them in a few days, call back.

* don’t call during a time of day when you know they won’t be home and then continue to call, either not leaving messages, or to many.

These are just a few common curtesy tips..more to come..or what do you suggest?

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You are out on your first date, or maybe your second, it still is not the time to reveal all “personal” information. Be yourself, but you don’t have to tell them everything. If the relationship continues, they will be plenty of time to reveal the “dirty laundry”. If you are coming from a bad divorce or past relationship that didn’t work out, the first few dates are not the time to be discussing this. Be open and honest, but you can leave some of the details out, just use your discretion and make the other person as comfortable as possible to get to know you.

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