Jewish Dating Blog | The inside scoop – Jewish Dating wisdom from the Matchmaker

CAT | Jewish singles

What makes 2 people click? Physical attraction, emotional, certain characteristic, similarities? What ever it is something has to click. But what about the relationship that work so well, when to people are not emotionally connected, or have same characteristics?

Within any relationship you have to be very open and honest with yourself, what will you/won’t you compromise. This may even change as you go through the dating process with someone, when you see a certain trait that just “out does” everything else, and you decide that it is worth not having some of the other things that you would never have even considered compromising on.

My daughter came into our room early this morning. As we are planning a little getaway next week, she started asking what are all the fun things we will be doing. When we started talking about it, she turned to my husband and asked if he was excited. His reaction, ya sure…why was this. He is one that prefers to stay at home, doesn’t need to take a vacation and  has no sense of adventure. Me, just the opposite.

This is not the only thing that we are different about, I would say we have more differences then we do similarities. But there are qualities in him, and he feels the same about me, that togther we make it work even with so many differences.

Get-a-ways, well, it’s me and the girls, ( my daughters and friends).  When I can drag him away from work, we take the odd family vacation.

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Dating is difficult enough, now we have the age of the internet. Meeting people on-line. This system works for many, and with busy schedules for some it is the only way.

What ever you decide to chose, between having the option of a matchmaker on the site look for you, or you do your own searching, remember until you actually meet in person, anyone can say or write what they think you want to hear. Try not to get caught up in this. Until you have a face to face meeting, and really “meet” the person.

I have seen and heard so many people get so caught up in the stage of writing and speaking and then when they do meet, realize it is not right. Try not to prolong that first meeting, even if you have to travel a great distance. Find away to meet. Don’t drag out the emails and phone calls.

For many the system works, and it is wonderful, but just take things slow, and meet in person early on. It is very easy to get hurt.

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Beauty is within the person, don’t only look at the physical. This message is from my Husband..I want to know, should I take it personally.

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Adam and Eve, first man and woman. How where they “created”, Eve came directly from Adam, his rib. So men have to be reminded that a woman is part of them. Woman should understand this as well. Both though have to remember that even though you are one and the same, you also have can still have differences. But the key to happiness is to keep in mind how we came about and and work together for happiness.

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Another tip for choosing a mate. When you meet someone,  look at them, and ask yourself if this is the person that you would want to raise your children. If the answer if YES, then this is a good start.

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You have met some one, and have been seeing each other for awhile. You must remember, that men and woman are so different, and we will probably never really understand those differences.

When you are dating and even married, those differences sometime’s hurt. The intent is not there, but it does. Comments get said, and how we react to these comments, is very different.  The man will usually take them lightly, brush them aside as you say. While the woman usually, will really get hurt by them. He has no idea or understands how or why this has hurt so much.

You have to understand these differences, each has to become more sensitive to them. I can really understand, as I am one that when my husband says things sometimes to me, in his “joking way” they really hurt. Does he mean it, I know he doesn’t but it doesn’t take away the pain. I just know that deep down, I love him for other qualities he has, and the longer we are together, I guess the “pain” is a little less each time. I have learned to tell him when he says something, and he is learning to say sorry.

So what am I saying, understand the differences in each other. Figure out what you can or cannot live with, but when making the decision try to discuss it. Remember, we can not expect things to change it means you learn to live with it or you you don’t. But by saying you won’t, you probably will be alone.

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I was just in touch with someone and she mentioned to me that she just had a date to a  Museum, and how much fun she had. I remembered back to a few times where I also went to a Museum for a first date.

This is a great place to go, you are walking, and can have a place to have conversation, if nothing to say to each other you can discuss what you are seeing. This can also bring out some similarities that you may have.

My thought, one date I had to the Museum, there was no connection to the person I was with at all, but I made the best of it, I enjoyed the displays, walked through, spoke to him about what we saw, and the date was still enjoyable. Because of the location.

So, first date, plan something that you enjoy, and think they will as well, so if you don’t get along, you still will enjoy the time. ( But of course let’s think positive, of course things will work out). 

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When you are deciding who and what type of person you want to meet, one of the standard comments is, “looking for someone who I can have fun with, be adventurous, outgoing, really enjoy life”

What you are forgetting is, that is for single’s. Once you get married, yes it is important to still have those times, but marriage will also have to be someone who is willing to work, you have to have a real committment to be there for each other, through everything good and bad. The problems with the finances, the kids, establishing a home together, the every day life’s occurances.

When you meet someone, keep this in mind, what type of qualities do they have, inside, not only the physical. Will they be supportive, encouraging, be willing to wrap there arms around when you need a shoulder to cry on. Those are the qualities you will need to look for.

If you think dating is difficult, then be prepared for marriage.

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We have spoken about making lists before. You have yours, now once again look at it. You have probably put down everything that you hope and would dream for. Now think of this.

The person you probably describe is a wonderful individual with the finest qualities and looks. Now truly look at yourself, what will this person see in you? Is this the person, that will bring you together and make the perfect couple. Will this person really make you happy for the years to come, or is this just the ideal.

Make the list, but be realistic in your expectations. Don’t use the list as the only thing, you may hear about a person, that is so off the list, and this could end up being the “one”

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Hi everyone out there, just as you need to take a break in dating sometimes, I guess it was my time to take a break from Blogging. But once again I am back.

Taking breaks -

* sometimes you may just get so frustrated with the idea of dating

 * or your schedule is so busy that you don’t have time

* or you have had a personal crisis and there is just no time

That is fine, take the break, and you just may come back to it, with a little different outlook, more relaxed, and you will enjoy it a little more.

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