CAT | Jewish singles events
18
First Date – How can you have fun?
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events, Uncategorized
In Jewish Dating – or dating in general we all get so worked up for the first date, and are quite nervous. The more you go out the easier it may get. But here are a few tips which can hopefully make it a little easier for you
1. Prepare yourself: Not necessarily of what you will do but first step is to get to know the person a little better. Spend a few times speaking on the phone, emailing, and if it is distance SKPEing. Ask questions that the information will lead to what you want to know about the person. The fact finding, or us some call it especially the first few calls – the airplance conversation, basic information about each other to keep the conversation going.
Once you see that you share the same thoughts on things that are important to you – family, fun, children, and religious outlook decide on a time and date to meet.
2. Place for First Date: Make it an open area, a place you can sit and have a cup of coffee ( or a drink) light meal, or can walk around. This is not the time to make a impression on how lavish you get get and being creative or how much money you spend. This is finding out if you have enough in common to go out again. Try to make it a place where you know the area, so you won’t get lost. If you are coming from completely different areas you may suggest meeting up at the spot .
3. Dress: Nice but don’t overdue it – men casual – woman if you know there is a chance to be walking wear suitable shoes. If you will be outdoors dress appropriately for the weather.
4. Time: If you meet and things go well – it would be perfect if you choose the time to beable to be together longer – but also decide what is suitable if things don’t go well. You don’t want to have a whole night of acitivities planned if things don’t go well. With time – make sure you are on time – and if you are late – call the person don’t text. Yes the way of modern technology is to text first – but what impression is this. As well if the phone is in a purse or a pocket the text may not be looked at.
5. On the actual date: If things are not going well – still be as respectful as possible – try to make the best of it. If the person is not your “look” or personality fine, but still be civil. You never know, the person can be for someone else that you may know. If you met through a on-line site like Sawyouatsinai or Jretromatch they even have a “button” on the match called suggest a match.
6. Ending the Date: End on a good note even if you are not for each other say something nice about each – be positive or don’t say anything at all. If you want to see each other – suggest to get together again and then call – if not don’t say you do but don’t follow-up.
7. Follow-up: If you enjoyed yourself and feel there is enough that you would like to go out again, next day send of an email. Very informal, just saying you enjoyed the time, and meeting you. For the guy - if you want to pursue the match then call within a few days. Don’t wait too long. Or if you see schedule is busy then at least email and mention this.
Just try to enjoy yourselves -
Communication · Dating Services · Jewish dating · Prepare for the date · relationships · Tips to Dating Distance
2
Committment to Jewish Dating
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events
It is now the Jewish New Year. You are probably thinking….great another year has gone and I am still not married. But what real efforts have you made to make this happen? You may have gone out on a few dates, joined an on-line site, maybe networked a little with friends and family. Here is the question though – did you do all this and not really follow through on any of them?
You may be a member of a on-line dating site – are you religious, then Sawyouatsinai, or not so, Jretromatch. But did you really commit to it. When you received your matches – did you review in a timely matter – accept – did you call when the match was approved, how many days later? Or did you not really follow up on it? You may have called – but then not hear back so just decided that they where interested, or just not tried again. Did you let a few weeks go – then emailed them that you where to busy?
Well if this sounds like you – then you are not really taking dating serious. Dating is work – you have to commit to it, work on the relationship, and speak and go out. If you can’t do this – then you may not be ready for marriage either.
Lets make this year – your year – and if you are now sure how maybe speak to someone who can help quide you through the process
14
Six Rules for Digital Dating
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events, Uncategorized
I thought I would share an article I came read recently about “Digital Dating” great tips that I hope will help you.
Six Rules for Digital Dating
Sage advice from Aish.com’s dating experts.
by Rosie Einhorn, L.C.S.W. and Sherry Zimmerman, J.D., M.Sc.
- “If he’s in Oregon and I’m in Chicago, can we have our first few dates over Skype before we decide to meet each other in person?”
- “When someone suggests a woman for me to date, I check her Facebook page before deciding yes or no. What do you think of this?”
- “I once texted a guy for six hours and felt we had an incredible connection. I never heard from him again. How can I keep this from happening the next time?”
- “How can I know someone I’m emailing is a safe person to date, or that he’s not married, in prison, or too socially awkward to ever meet?”
Technology has fundamentally altered the way we communicate. We can send messages, update our social network, and share in a world-full of information with one click of a mouse.
But all this comes at a price. Because we’re accustomed to communicating in 140 characters or less, we expect that an “instant” connection will lead to an instant relationship. What happens fast is often superficial, and we are losing the ability to develop a relationship gradually and move it to the next step.
Relationships that are meant to endure don’t instantly materialize. They take time to nurture and develop, and if we don’t have the tools and patience, a relationship that holds genuine promise will likely end up nowhere.
Daters who are serious about developing a meaningful relationship are advised to follow these six rules:
The attention directed toward your date has been shattered.
(1) No digital diversions. When you’re on a date, don’t text or email anyone, or answer a text or chat message. Your Blackberry or smartphone should be turned off and put out of sight. Similarly, keep your cellphone off (no, “silent mode” is insufficient). You may feel the need to be connected and available every moment of the day, but that prevents you from connecting to the person sitting across the table. If you allow these outside distractions to enter your “dating space,” the energy and attention that you’re supposed to be directing exclusively toward your date has been shattered. That’s bound to give a bad first impression – and build resentment at any stage of the relationship.
(2) No over-texting. Texting is a great way to say, “Bus running late. Meet u in 20 min.” It’s not a substitute for spoken communication. If our default communication is texts, tweets and Facebook posts, we might think we know a lot about the person and are growing closer.
This is a false sense of intimacy, because the texts and tweets don’t convey the sender’s tone or mood. We can’t really get to know someone without spending time together – sharing experiences, observing body language, facial expressions, and engaging in a face-to-face exchange of ideas and feelings. These are essential, intangible elements of social interaction. We don’t know if the personal chemistry is in sync, or if we are capable of having a real-time conversation.
Use texting only for short messages about where and when to meet, sudden changes of plans, or a quick “Hi, thinking of you” on a day that you’re not seeing each other.
(3) Don’t delay the first live meeting. It’s fine to exchange basic information online, but as soon as you get a sense this might be a good person to meet, follow up on their references and arrange for a meeting. When two people “date online” for months, without arranging to meet, they may feel as if they’re personally relating. Yet often when they finally do meet for the first time, they are disappointed that the other person doesn’t look, sound, or act like the mental picture they’ve developed. And often, the dissonance between that “image” and the reality is too large to overcome – and they are blocked from ever being able to accept the other person.
(4) Don’t use email as a substitute for going on dates. Once you’ve met, email may be a good way to keep in touch when you can’t interact in person, but the way to build a relationship is through live conversation. Skype and video chat are good alternatives when geographic distance precludes seeing each other often, but they cannot replace face-to-face dating. Even something as simple as planning a date should be done on the telephone; firing off a quick text message might be perceived as treating the whole date too flippantly.
(5) Don’t rely exclusively on social networking sites. The web is a good way to get a general idea of whether or not to date someone. But a two-dimensional photo doesn’t capture what a person really looks like, and reading a profile doesn’t give enough information about what they’re really like. Find out information about a potential date the old fashioned way – by talking to people who know them. Otherwise, you might waste a lot of time emailing someone with an appealing Facebook page, but who is far from what you’re looking for. Alternatively, you might pass up a great opportunity.
(6) Don’t break up electronically. Yes, it’s hard telling someone, “It was nice to meet you, but I don’t think this is going to work out.” But a virtual break-up is much more hurtful to the other party. If you’ve ever been at the receiving end of such a text message or email, you know the feeling.
So while technology has dramatically increased the quantity of information exchange, it has undeniably undermined the quality. It also negatively affects our attention spans, which means those trying to develop a connection may have a hard time sustaining meaningful conversation. They’re accustomed to communicating in short spurts, rather than taking the time to explore a subject in-depth, understand and convey emotions, and engage in a prolonged exchange of thoughts and ideas.
So when it comes to dating, try to get out of that instant-message mindset. It may be a bit “old-fashioned,” but it is essential to building a successful, long-term relationship and marriage.
Communication · Dating · Dating scene · Tips to Dating Distance
8
Jewish Dating and on-line service
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events
The Jewish Dating today has taken on the modern dating scenario,and now is getting in on all the on-line serives available. Many new Jewish Dating sites are coming about. If you are religious – try Sawyouatsinai , or if more traditional to secular – Jretromatch. With everyone being so busy today – between social responsibilities – work and just life in general dating has taken a step back. So what way can you use the modern technology and as you are surfing the net – have the potential for “surfing” for a date.
Social Networking is the wave of today and the future - and Jewish Dating become part of it.
You want to meet someone in another city, country what a better way then using the on-line services for this. If you don’t have the time to “surf” on your own having a matchmaker which these site’s do, can make it even easier. So start surfing and have fun oyu can’t find your partner in the traditional way – try on-line dating
dating on-line · Jewish Dating Sites · On-line sites · Social networking
20
Wake-up time inJewish Dating
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events
It has been some time since my last post – I guess after so many years of writing it is difficult to try to come up with things to speak about in the Jewish Dating world.
SO today I want to just add a few words…I am tired of hearing “I really am committed for a long term relationship to lead to marriage” – then when speaking you give me a list of what you are looking for that are so..unrealistic ..or you admit that you are “picky” =
WAKE-UP you are not getting any younger – marriage is compromise – if you can’t even start a relationship with that then how do you expect to stay committed. No one is perfect – you or your future partner. COMPROMISE
and if you can’t then ask yourself if you really are ready or just think you are …
Jewish Dating is serious – and people do want to meet someone for a committed relationship – so if you can’t compromise or committ then stay away from the serious Jewish Dating site’s
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Ways to attract people in Jewish Dating
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events
How a person carries and presents themselves in public can be a way to meet someone? So if you want to meet, how can you attract someone – in Jewish Dating? If you are confident in your self this will come out when you are in public, and this can attract people towards you. These few steps can help you finding a partner.
Think about who you are – and try to find inner happiness. Get to know who you are and go out there and do the thing you enjoy to doing. Don’t wait around for others try to be more confident in you.
If you are unsure about something – don’t hide away from it – take a deep breath and push yourself to go out there
Don’t rely on other’s to make you happy – if you want to do something go for it. If you wait around and just put yourself behind your desk or at home on your couch this won’t give you the opportunity to meet people.
Try to be with people that make you feel good about yourself and what you do, be positive this will come across when you meet people.
Go out and enjoy the things you like to do – this will also put you with others who enjoy the same things and will give you the opportunity to meet people with similar interests.
Most important though, is really find out who “you” are, and if you don’t like what you see in the mirror then maybe it is time to make a few changes. Think positive – but also be happy with who you are and where you are in your life. Don’t have unrealistic expectations,
Dating · Dating scene · Prepare for the date · relationships
19
Jewish Dating 101 – Desperate…
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events
What to do when the situation is getting desperate.
You want to meet – but not sure how to – you have been doing the “dating scene” but tired of the bars. Where can you go? Many options exist out there – but you have to take a pro-active role and be serious. You also have to be realistic as you do not know which option will work for you. From the on-line site’s - to adventure clubs, to casual meeting through friends, or co-worker’s
Ask around – see how your friends met there partner, you will get many answers. You don’t know where your time or place will be. But go out and meet people – network .
The problems occur more when you say you want to meet – and then you just sit around – or you go out on the dates – but you can’t make the commitment. Is it that you are always figuring that there could be someone better, smarter, richer, better looking
Open up your criteria – no one is perfect. Look at yourself in the mirror as well – are you?
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Jewish Dating in the Year 5771
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events
It is that time again – we have just spent the last week reflecting at the year we just completed. We look hard at ourselves and ty to ask for forgiveness, but we also look at what we want for the coming year. Jewish Dating is difficult as we know – but another year has gone and where some of you are dating – other’s, well it is time to really consider what you want.
Don’t let another year go by – do what you can to make this year – the year to finding your partner. Join dating sites, like Sawyouatsinai if you are more religious, Jretromatch if a little less, go to Speed-dating – join your local activities – just get out there to meet.
It is time to stop thinking of your ideal match – and just look at the person and see if they can be there for you – support you – love you.
No tags
13
Jewish Dating On-Line
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events, Uncategorized
Jewish Dating On-Line many people are trying it to meet that special someone – as a Matchmaker we hear -”we want to meet someone with this type of personality, or someone who is sensitive, caring considerate. Not “cheap”. Certain personality traits can not be found out by a phone call. Even though our service – Jretromatch - has at least one benefit over some of the other sites, as we actually speak with our members to get a better “sense” of who they are, we still may not “pick-up” certain character traits that so many people are asking us for.
Were on-line dating may not be the perfect situation for everyone, it can be the first step for introduction. What was blind-dating so many years ago, at least now you have the opportunity to review a brief profile, and photo’s prior to accept a match.
I still find though, that with on-line dating people become more “picky” because they have the profile they can reveiw and decide by just a short few paragraphs if this person is for them. Unless there is really very specific things mentioned – how they want to raise a family, political orientation that may be so different then your own, a specific trait that you don’t get along with – why not accept the potential match. A phone call is the next step, and then you can discuss certain issues that are important to you – and find out if there could be more potential.
In Jewish Dating – I some times believe that the Orthodox community has a better outlook on dating. When you find out that someone has gotten engaged only after 3-10 dates…how could this be, how can someone consider marriage after such a short time, how can someone really know a person after only a few dates, how…
Well, the dating is different, the discussion is values, what you want and see for your future, is this person good, kind, considerate. Yes there may even be checking the people out before they go out to see if there is potential for this match.
The dating is not spending two years ( or more) going out and having fun, dinner dates, social activities, vacations together to see if we can live together”. Take this out of the picture – during this time – you may have fun, travel around, but are you also speaking with each other, and figuring out if you have the same “plans”, expectations of what you want in a marriage?
Dating is difficult, no matter how you go out and search for your partner. But before you actual date, really decide why are you dating. Is it for a casual relationship – to have the fun with someone so you are not on your own? Or is it to meet your future partner? When you really decide why you want to date, then when it come’s to on-line dating or any other method, don’t “kid” yourself, you may actual have met and because you where to “picky” they are no longer available.
Dating · Dating scene · Jewish dating · Jewish Dating Sites · On-line
15
Dating is hard work
No comments · Posted by Lesley in Jewish dating, Jewish dating service, Jewish singles, Jewish singles events
If you are not ready to work hard, trying everything possible and be committed to dating – then take a step back.
Dating is hard work – Lets look at some of the standard responses to not wanting to go out: Jewish Dating can be even more difficult as you also want to find someone that will be compatible with your religious beliefs.
* not physically attracted to them.
Okay lets look at this – physical attraction. How can you really tell by the photo. I receive emails from so many people how after they have met someone that the person didn’t look anything like there photo..so if you are declining a match for this, think again. How many people meet and say they where not physically attracted to each other and over time once seeing how the person was – chemisty and attraction grew and made it work
* personality
Speak to your friends, family and co-workers. Are there partners exactly the personality they wanted. We are all different. Maybe meeting some so totally different, can bring the balance of the relationship together
* Distance
Distance is hard – but if this is the only way to meet someone – isn’t it worth the sacrifices – the financial means – the travel, if you end up together.
* not religious enough/ too religious
I realize this is difficult as some people don’t want a person that is “finding” themselves. But you can open up a little to someone a little more or less. When you are married you end choosing how you want to practice, especially when you have children. This is something that you can also work together and finding your comfort zone. Or if you are flexible and open to someone a little more or less then your self as long as you respect each other within your belief’s.
Bottom line. Dating is hard work – but you have to really work at it. Don’t spend the time if you are not serious. If you are serious then use every option available out there. Dating site’s, single’s events, matchmaking services , speed-dating the list goes on..
