CAT | Jewish dating
You are ready for marriage. Now it means finding someone who feels the same way and not just to date for a relationship, that could lead to marriage down the road. If you are serious, then when you are speaking with people let them know this.
You should be on the same “page” with the person you are dating. But if you see that after about 6 months the relationship isn’t going anywhere, then maybe it is time to talk to each other and see what is going on. If you are really serious, then don’t waste time being with someone who isn’t.
I also say, if you decide to “walk” and it was meant to be, then the person will come back and maybe make the final committment to you.
You are looking to meet someone on-line. Your are busy and you figure it is only way that you can take the stress of of looking and meeting someone. Remember though, we can only make the matches. You have to review, accept or decline, and actually take the time to do this.
If matches go untouched they will time out.
If you do get a mutually approved match, please follow-up. Contact each other, set up a time to meet. It takes a lot of time and work to get the matches made, and it is great when they are approved, I really dislike seeing a match get closed, for Never Got in Touch.
If you are serious, great, but if not, please don’t waste the matchmakers or the other persons time. You are not being fair to all of us. If your personal life is to hectic, it is better to make yourself inactive for a bit.
I hear so many people today say they are happy with the way things are going on in there life. Good career, enjoys there social life, love to be able to go away when they want, to travel, to go to see friends, whatever.
That is great, but now consider. You are in your 50′s, you have no spouse, no children. You have done the partying, the traveling, the theatre with friends. Now all your friends are married with children, and there priorities have changed.
You are alone.
Is this what you really want? Growing old on your own? Think about this, and be serious. Is that what you really wanted?
Now is the time to make the changes. Yes you can still go out and have fun when you are married. Yes you can still travel when you are married. Yes you can have it all, with alot of planning. Marriage is not being tied down if you don’t want it to be.
Think of what you can have. A spouse, children, but most important – you are not alone. Those challenges in life, you now have someone to go through them with. Those travels, you now have someone do go with, the theatre partner, you now take you spouse and it turns into your date night, which is so special
Think – don’t go on being ALONE
So many times we are quick to speak out to our loved ones, and complain about there “bad habits”. But why don’t we look at the situation a little differently. This can even happen when you are dating.
One person is always late. The typical reaction to this is to make a comment. ” I don’t understand why you can never get here on time, what do you do with yourself all day that puts you so behind”.
“Why, you are late again, did you have a rough day today dear? I am sorry. Lets see if I can help you out a little in the future to see if we can figure out a way that this doesn’t happen?
The house is always a mess when I get here, I just don’t understand why you can’t clean up after yourself?
I see you didn’t get to clean up, you must be having a really rough time managing your job(s), (maybe kids), and doing everything you have to. Why don’t I come over once a week and instead of us going out take the time together to get things in order.
Try to be more understanding and forgiving. Look at things a little differently. What makes one person concerned, can be anothers selfishness. Don’t “jump” too quickly to make a statement that you will regret later, or learn to say you are sorry. Think before speaking, and help each other out. Relationships as well as marriage is hard work, you don’t think twice about working so hard for your pay check at the end of the week, maybe it is time to look at you relationship, and be willing to work at it just as much. Take the time.
It is very easy to say something that will be misinterpreted. Learn to recognize this, and together work on it. It is easier to fix something that still works then to re-build something that is broken.
What are you looking for in your future spouse? Most people I speak to have this list of what they are looking for, go over yours. What’s on it? Does it describe physical traits, or emotional? What you should be looking for is really your best friend.
Think of your best friend for a moment, you will be there for each other no matter what. You may agree or disagree with them at times but you will always be loyal to them, and love them. If they get ill, you will be by there side through it all. If they go through hardship, loose all there money, you will still love them for who they are.
Now think of what you are looking for in a spouse, does this apply? It should. If you are looking for someone who is beautiful, what happens if G-D forbid they are in an accident, and disfigured or loose a limb – will you still love them unconditionally? If you are looking for someone who will provide for you, be financially secure, and they loose there money, what will happen in your relationship?
Your best friend, someone who will be there, support you no matter what will happen – who you can laugh, cry, and go through any of life’s unexpected occurances, that is what you want in a spouse.
So go over your list, time to make some changes, look more for the emotional traits, what type of person they are. Yes it is important to be physically attracted to them, but usually the attraction comes when you are together – and seeing the good in a person, and that you love is unconditional.
What does it take for some people to meet? Photo’s, profile’s, well this is great, but if you don’t see or read what you like, it is very easy to just decline or say no. By doing this you may be loosing out on meeting you potential match.
Does it hurt to just say say yes! Meet up – face to face is so much easier to really see if you are compatible. If distance is a issue, then at least speak to each other before you make a final decision.
We all know there are major difference’s in men and woman, so how can we even be begin to start dating, unless we realize this? Here is one huge difference, if a man will need a a little attention weekly, woman will need it daily. Woman will need emotional support, men usually don’t. So be sympathetic, to each other’s needs, and once you realize this, then you can also start the dating process, and once married have a little better understanding of each other
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Okay another year is here, for some they think of this situation around Rosh Hashanah and now again. I am alone.
Well, what can we do. Look at what you did over the past year to meet someone. Did you really do all you could have? Did you really consider every aspect of dating. Internet, network, blind dates..speed dating….did you really make an effort when someone was suggested to you.
Or, are you so set on how the person should be, and being unrealistic with what you want in a relationship?
Think,will another year go by and you you will ask yourself the same questions? Or make this year one that will count, and do everything you can to meet the person.
Sometimes you may not be ready for a match, or you receive some information on someone, and you decide at that time you are not ready. Who is to say that if/when things change for you that you can’t reconsider later on. Keep all option open.
Circumstance’s can change, or it may even be a time in your life when you are willing to open yourself up just a little more to someone that you may have not considered yesterday. Go for it, that person may just be right for you.