CAT | Jewish dating service
You have been dating someone for quite some time. You can’t decide if this person is the love of your life, or is it time to end things. You can’t live with them or without.
Well, I always say no person is perfect. But after a while you figure out is it something you can or can’t live with? Look at all the positive and negetive of the relationship, even if it means writing it down so you physically “see” what they are. Do the comparison. Look at what you wrote.
But don’t keep thinking, things will change, they probably won’t, so if you can’t handle it, then time to end the relationship. Don’t keep waiting around to see what will happen, you just continue to get older, and it will be harder to get back into the “dating scene”
If you are dating someone and still not sure, then you should continue to go out till you are, make sure before you end it, as this could be the person that could be your partner.
Sometimes it takes a few dates to really know if this person is for you, one date may not give you the “feeling”, it may take a few to feel the chemistry.
One phone call should not be the deciding factor if you should get together, people may not be comfortabel on the first call, or outside circumstances, bad day at the office may ruin the moment. Give it a little time, speak a few times, and if you are in the same city, try to get together, it only a few hours of your time, and this could be your partner that you are not giving the chance to meet.
Dating is a process, but remember you are trying to meet the person you will spend your furture with, take the time, don’t judge the person so quickly.
I am going to give out a little dating advise.
Look at yourself, now ask a friend how they see you. When dating, and / or just meeting people in general, you may have some difficulty relating to people. You may also think you dress well, have style, look and act great. But maybe it is time, to really look at yourself and try to see what other’s do.
It may hurt a little, but it can help a lot. It may also mean for you to gain a little more confidence in yourself. Whatever it is, it may mean to “clean-up”. If you are not sure, we are willing to help. Ask your matchmaker what they think. If you continue to get matches and they get declined, maybe by just changing, updating, or “cleaning – up” this can change.
You decide to set up a profile for on–line dating. You have to put on your profile enough information that the person is going to be interested in you. When they read it, they should know a little about you, your work, your family life, what you enjoy doing in your spare time, some of your likes and dislikes. But, also what you are looking for in a partner. If you are religious, or not, let them know if you are open to taking on more, and exactly what you are willing to.
Don’t write a book, just enough that they will be interested to meet you.
Your matchmaker can only do so much, we can make the match, but if you are not clear in your profile, the match will not be accepted. If you are not sure about what you have put in your profile, then ask a friend, or discuss it with your matchmaker. just remember, we are there to help you. So if you are not sure about something, ask.
Men: You are in your 40′s maybe in 50′s. You say you look younger then your years, so you only want to date woman who are younger. Yes you may be 42 and look in your 30′s but you have to remember, most people will agree, there is this 10 year rule. Most woman, will not date someone 10 years older. What about all those woman who are in there 40′s and 50′s looking young as well, why not date one of them?
Woman: Yes you may look younger, but the same, most men will not date woman years younger.
Just be realistic. You are still single, do you really want to get married? Or do you want to remain single? You may have to change these expectations – you never know who you are “refusing” to meet. It just could be your future spouse.
You have been reading my Blog – my experiences remembering when I was single , my experiences of dating, and now as a matchmaker and hearing some incredible stories.
You have also been reading my advise to all of you.
Well now you can also read a new Blog, a singles perspective, so have a look. Robin’s Blog is worth having a look at.
Let’s be real, if you expect, tall, dark, handsome, extremely wealthly, and you are not willing to leave your own city, unless it is to vacation – with him to some exotic place, the chances of meeting someone like this, next to NIL.
Especially, if on the first phone call, you ask, how much do you earn, where do you live, and what do you look like.
If these are your expectations – I say look at yourself, are you this as well?
It is time to be realistic. The person, if this is what you want, then I say network in your own circles, this is probably not what you will find on a dating site.
I will tell you a little story – A young couple was engaged. He was from very wealthy family. They went to look for the engagement ring in New York City diamond industry, if you live in New York you can relate. She kept on looking, he would point something out to her, she would look, try on, and say – no, a little different, a little bigger stone. They moved to the next counter, and the next, this continued to happen, no a little better quality, bigger stone…
Finally, he looked at her, and said, if this is what you think, the engagements is off, it’s my parents money and not mine. He walked out of the area, leaving her standing there. Moral of the story – don’t only look what is in the pockets, or what you think is. Look for the person, what they can offer you. How they treat you and others.
Many people feel that only as a married person do you have your way in society. This is not true. As a single person, you still have a place. Use this time to secure that place. Use it as a time to find out who you are. Feel positive about yourself, and do everything you can to make yourself the best person you can be.
Don’t let yourself feel that you are not “whole” without a spouse, when you do meet the right person, you will still be who you are, now you will have someone next to you, as added support and together you can take on more of those dreams that you want.
Always go out looking your best, be positive, don’t let yourself get down because you are single. I always have said that when you meet someone, if they see you are desperate, you will probably loose them. When they see a person with confidence, a sense of truly knowing who they are, who is enjoy being, then things can fall into place.
Does this sound like you.
Man between 50-65 looking for woman under 40 who wants to have children and still can. Will not compromise. She must be attractive, outgoing, live within 60 miles of..
Now ask yourself.
How many woman who are available will want to go out with someone over 10-15 years older then they are?
Are you willing to wait, and wait, and still be single and alone. Just because you want children, or more children
What do you have to offer them that is so special?
If you have never been married, then it is time to wake up, why aren’t you? And why have you waited so long to realize this.
Considering we hear, I want, I want, instead of what am I willing to compromise on, men, ( and woman) you will continue to be single.
In a relationship and marriage there is compromise and if you are only saying I, then maybe you are not ready…
Please, please….when you commit to on-line dating part of the process is to review matches. DOn’t let them seat around and “time-out” or just don’t respond to them. You ask as to make matches, we do, then you just don’t follow-up. PLease reveiw the matches, and make your decision either way, accept or decline but don’t let them go.
You may think you are being the “nice person” you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by not accepting. Well, from what we hear, it is worse to let the match just go, shows you not being considerate.
Or, you finanlly get a mutually approved match, and what do you do, nothing…Please follow-up. Look at yourselves, and think, if you want to really meet someone, then you will have to do some work.