Jewish Dating Blog | The inside scoop – Jewish Dating wisdom from the Matchmaker

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You meet someone – and everything is great – they are wonderful – treat you amazing – you are so compatible – but…

You are not attracted to them – the “Chemistry” is just not there. Give it time, if everything else is so great – the chemistry can come – the physical is only part of a relationship – and the physical on the person is usually the first thing to change.

How many woman put on weight with each child – and can never seem to get it off, how many men as they get older stop working out – and get the “beer belly” – or never have worked out.

Look at the person for who and what they are – yes you have to be attracted to someone – but the attraction can grow – everything else – is what is really needed in the relationship to make it work for years to come.

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We have a match – this is not so easy. If you got a call that someone had suggested a match would you consider going on a blind date?

Well think of on-line dating similar to this – but you get to view a little of what they say about themselves and could even view a picture. Now remember – that picture could be updated.

Interesting story – of friend of ours recently mentioned that he went on a date with a woman he met through an on-line site. He viewed a picture – they emailed back and forth and decided to meet. He got to the door, he said she had to weigh 300 pounds..

I am not saying this will happen to you – but think of it this way -maybe the person you are saying no to – the picture is outdated, they are not photogenic, they can’t express themselves on paper -

What am I saying – take the chance go out, or at least speak on the phone, you just never know.

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“We are engaged”…it was so incredible to get this email, it is always wonderful to hear when someone gets engaged, but to be part of is so amazing. Happy to say, this was not my first engagement as a matchmaker, and I hope I will have many more.

For all of us, getting the email that a couple got engaged, no matter how many emails we get of the members who ar upset about the site, or the amount of matches or lack of them, I always let them know how many people have met, and are going out. We are making matches, people are meeting each other

To me and I believe most of us who are busy making the matches, if through all our work, even one couple meet, then it is so worth all the work we do, the emails, the declined matches, the email to members back and forth…

So now having couples on the site who met and got married, to all of those who met and are engaged, or even just going out..and some for 2 years already, and to the many more matches we hope to make. I want to say THANK YOU..

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be part of you present and future. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to help you meet your beshert, because hearing those words – “We are engaged” – makes all my hours at the computer worth it..

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When you are matched with someone – what is one of the first things you look at? The picture, the description of themselves – the age, there interests?

Lets speak a moment about age. Everyone has an idea of how old/young they want there partner to be. Obviously when you get to see a profile that information is right there. So what do you do, if they are to old/to young, not what you where hoping for…

 When you meet someone, is ther first thing you going to ask them is how old are they? Obviously not, so why make age such a big thing – who cares if they are a little older, younger  or not what you where hoping for. Age should not be the priority.

Just a little more advise – and something to reconsider when you are looking at a profile

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Recently I had an experience with one of our members on the site. He was frustrated that sometimes he didn’t get to see the matches – (well if they where sent to the woman first and they where declined he wouldn’t get to view them, or if they where sent out to both of them and she saw it first and declined), we can’t guarantee who is the one who will see the match first. We have no control over who will decline the match. We can only hope when we make a match – that it will be accepted. Do you agree to every date someone tries to fix you up with?

Just because you may not be happy with the service, that doesn’t mean this way works for everyone. We all have our stories of how we met someone . It could be while traveling, a dating site, blind date, through work, through friends, or just happen to bump into them on the street.

Just because you are not happy with one way – does not mean you should “bad mouth” that way, maybe it is not for you – so move on and try another way.

But remember, if you are so miserable that will come out when you meet someone – no one wants to meet up with a negative person, let it go, move on and see what happens. �

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Okay dating may not be the simpliest thing out there, but you have to go through it in order to meet your spouse. What can you do to make it a little easier. Do things you enjoy doing – at least if you don’t get along you can make the best of the evening.

Don’t plan an elaborate first date – go for coffee, this way if things don’t go well, it is just a couple of hours and not such an expensive “date”.

Make the best of it, and as I always say - network. But don’t complain to your date about your experience’s with dating – unless you can put humour into it..

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When we look at dating, what is the reason for this? Ask yourself, are you looking for a partner for life or someone to have fun with, without the responsibilities of making a real committment?

When you wait so long or have your priorities to the financial gain, or employment, you may miss out on so much. As we get older it is just more difficult to meet someone for the committment, or when you finally “wake-up” you realize that those eligible and suitable men/woman are not available or have so much baggage.

We have to overcome these challenges and accept that life is what it is, not imaging it as what we want it to be. Look at yourselves and be realistic. I always say when you are only really happy with yourself, can you meet someone, as you can open yourself up to a successful relationship.

If you see you are not going anywhere in a relationship, or have unrealistic expectations, maybe it is time to speak to someone and work these things out. Change the “pattern”, and hopefully you will meet the right person.

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Nerds – this is a strange topic, but could be an interesting one.

We are all looking for the ideal match – does it really exist? A friend once told me, that you are better off to find someone who is 10-20% nerd, WHY? That person will be open to a little change, and together you can work out what that is.

So go for it, it may work for you

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Okay you need some help. Ask away that is what we are also for. But please remember,we can only do so much. We can make suggestions, add comments to why we think this is a good match, we can email them again if one person accepts and feels they would really like to meet, we are there for advise..

 But please remember – we are only the shaliach – the messeger. We can not make someone accept a match. We can not change what someone is convinced they are looking for. We can try to make the person a little more realistic, but remember we can not make miracles, only try to.

Please, I  know it is easy to put the blame on someone, but there is not much we can do when it comes to making someone say yes or no.

Some quideline.’s Really ensure that your profile is very clear of they type of person you are looking for - Distance – with/without children – what you are or aren’t willing to compromise on. But be open, you never know where you will meet, when or how.

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Some simple advise if you really want to get married>

Don’t date for the sake of dating – if you are older and ready for marriage then look for marriage. Make it very clear to the person that is what you are looking for. Stay positive, if you aren’t everyone can pick up on this. Change your attitute, if you are happy with who you are,  then this will come forward when you are meeting people. Be more open about dating, it may mean lowering some of your expectations. Look and figure out why you are not married yet, maybe these expectations are so unrealistic. Be honest with yourself, and really network, we have spoken about his before, let everyone you know, and even those you don’t – you never know how or where you will meet your partner

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