CAT | Jewish dating service
Dating is difficult enough, now we have the age of the internet. Meeting people on-line. This system works for many, and with busy schedules for some it is the only way.
What ever you decide to chose, between having the option of a matchmaker on the site look for you, or you do your own searching, remember until you actually meet in person, anyone can say or write what they think you want to hear. Try not to get caught up in this. Until you have a face to face meeting, and really “meet” the person.
I have seen and heard so many people get so caught up in the stage of writing and speaking and then when they do meet, realize it is not right. Try not to prolong that first meeting, even if you have to travel a great distance. Find away to meet. Don’t drag out the emails and phone calls.
For many the system works, and it is wonderful, but just take things slow, and meet in person early on. It is very easy to get hurt.
Beauty is within the person, don’t only look at the physical. This message is from my Husband..I want to know, should I take it personally.
Over the years we have had, the Dating Game and now Bachelor and Bachelorette. I think they should have something called the “Waiting” Game.
For me getting married at 40 was a “Waiting” Game. Why the years of dating to find someone, the amount of blind dates, single’s events, friends calling me to say I have the perfect guy…
Well it was just to wait to finally meet my soul mate at 39 (married one year later). I wish I could have known that’s what it would have been and avoided so many first dates. But I waited and now, I am married. So my advise, play the “Waiting” game and hopefully for you as it was for me, it will be worth it.
I just read this story and thought it was worth passing on to you. Some problems with internet dating…you just never know who you are really speaking with.
Friday December 9, 2005By Grace Green
MARSEILLES, France — Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach — and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!
“I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams,” the rattled bachelor later admitted. “And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she’d said she would.
“But when I got close, she turned around — and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn’t know what to say. All I could think was, ‘Oh my God! it’s Mama!’ ”
But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.
“Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop,” recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. “The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it — and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o’clock news. “People started pointing and laughing at us on the street — and they haven’t stopped laughing since.”
The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole — who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb — while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.
“Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was,” said flabbergasted Daniel.
“The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.
“But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don’t see in many girls.
“She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.
“The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I’d never seen before. I’m grateful for that.”
When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she’d scanned from a men’s magazine.
“The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach — and Mom said yes,” he recalled. “Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I’d be disappointed when I saw her.
“As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.
“I guess that’s about as wrong as I’ve ever been.”
Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul — Nicole’s husband of 27 years — wasn’t too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.
“Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again,” said embarrassed Daniel.
Adam and Eve, first man and woman. How where they “created”, Eve came directly from Adam, his rib. So men have to be reminded that a woman is part of them. Woman should understand this as well. Both though have to remember that even though you are one and the same, you also have can still have differences. But the key to happiness is to keep in mind how we came about and and work together for happiness.
Another tip for choosing a mate. When you meet someone, look at them, and ask yourself if this is the person that you would want to raise your children. If the answer if YES, then this is a good start.
You have met some one, and have been seeing each other for awhile. You must remember, that men and woman are so different, and we will probably never really understand those differences.
When you are dating and even married, those differences sometime’s hurt. The intent is not there, but it does. Comments get said, and how we react to these comments, is very different. The man will usually take them lightly, brush them aside as you say. While the woman usually, will really get hurt by them. He has no idea or understands how or why this has hurt so much.
You have to understand these differences, each has to become more sensitive to them. I can really understand, as I am one that when my husband says things sometimes to me, in his “joking way” they really hurt. Does he mean it, I know he doesn’t but it doesn’t take away the pain. I just know that deep down, I love him for other qualities he has, and the longer we are together, I guess the “pain” is a little less each time. I have learned to tell him when he says something, and he is learning to say sorry.
So what am I saying, understand the differences in each other. Figure out what you can or cannot live with, but when making the decision try to discuss it. Remember, we can not expect things to change it means you learn to live with it or you you don’t. But by saying you won’t, you probably will be alone.
I was just in touch with someone and she mentioned to me that she just had a date to a Museum, and how much fun she had. I remembered back to a few times where I also went to a Museum for a first date.
This is a great place to go, you are walking, and can have a place to have conversation, if nothing to say to each other you can discuss what you are seeing. This can also bring out some similarities that you may have.
My thought, one date I had to the Museum, there was no connection to the person I was with at all, but I made the best of it, I enjoyed the displays, walked through, spoke to him about what we saw, and the date was still enjoyable. Because of the location.
So, first date, plan something that you enjoy, and think they will as well, so if you don’t get along, you still will enjoy the time. ( But of course let’s think positive, of course things will work out).
When you are deciding who and what type of person you want to meet, one of the standard comments is, “looking for someone who I can have fun with, be adventurous, outgoing, really enjoy life”
What you are forgetting is, that is for single’s. Once you get married, yes it is important to still have those times, but marriage will also have to be someone who is willing to work, you have to have a real committment to be there for each other, through everything good and bad. The problems with the finances, the kids, establishing a home together, the every day life’s occurances.
When you meet someone, keep this in mind, what type of qualities do they have, inside, not only the physical. Will they be supportive, encouraging, be willing to wrap there arms around when you need a shoulder to cry on. Those are the qualities you will need to look for.
If you think dating is difficult, then be prepared for marriage.
We have spoken about making lists before. You have yours, now once again look at it. You have probably put down everything that you hope and would dream for. Now think of this.
The person you probably describe is a wonderful individual with the finest qualities and looks. Now truly look at yourself, what will this person see in you? Is this the person, that will bring you together and make the perfect couple. Will this person really make you happy for the years to come, or is this just the ideal.
Make the list, but be realistic in your expectations. Don’t use the list as the only thing, you may hear about a person, that is so off the list, and this could end up being the “one”