Jewish Dating Blog | The inside scoop – Jewish Dating wisdom from the Matchmaker

Archive for April 2010

What is Beshert – best translated as your soul mate that Hashem (G-d) has pre-ordained that two souls will meet. It says in the Talmud (Bible) that 40 days before you are born that “the daughter of so and so is destined for this person.” This is your Beshert. A match made in heaven.

Does this mean that we should wait around? If G-d has already chosen our Beshert, then one day that person should just appear. The answer to this is no, just as your Beshert has been chosen for you there is the possibility that with free will involved, you may not actually meet .

How do we know if the person we meet is our Beshert? There is still a lot of work ahead to finding eachother. It is a difficult process, , it is even more problematic as we all have a pre-conceived idea of the type of person we are looking for. With this sometimes your Beshert may be overlooked.

Finding your Beshert is bringing two souls together. Just as Eve was made from Adam’s rib, and then they were reunited, so to is the connection for husband and wife, finding your Beshert means bringing your two souls together, and becoming whole once again.

The dating world is difficult enough. Some are lucky and find their Beshert after the first introduction, but I am sure in some of these cases these people may also second guess themselves, and question if this person is truly there Beshert. You want to figure out what is really important to you. It is difficult to finding your Beshert when you are in your late teens or early 20′s, and Orthodox, how do you really know what you are looking for?  One of the things you may consider is when meeting your prospective beshert, is how does this person make you feel? Do you feel that you could be a better person by being with them? .

You also have to remember that no one is perfect, and you must decide which “faults” you may be willing to compromise on. Finding your Beshert may be very difficult, don’t go into it thinking that it will be easy, for some it is, others will wait years to meet For the Orthodox, finding your Beshert, the pressure is on, as if you don’t find someone within the first year of looking, you will also have the people that are ready for finding their Beshert who weren’t ready the year before.

There are also many people who over time become religious, “Baal Teshuvas” that may be older. Some are divorced and have become religious after the first marriage, and others became more and more religious over the years. Is this to say the first marriage wasn’t their Beshert, and now they are looking for their Beshert? Only Hashem knows the answer. Some find their Beshert right away, and for others, such as myself, it took 23 years of dating to find my Beshert at 39 years old. I look back now and know that I had to wait for my Beshert, because he had to go through 20 years of marriage to someone else, become religious, for me to meet him.

To find your Beshert you must be open minded and really consider when someone discusses a potential match for you; don’t necessarily turn someone down because that person could be you Beshert – and use everyone possible resource out there,   from On-line Dating Sites, Matchmaker’s, to just networking – or try Speed-dating, or even programs within your Community, just do what it takes to meet someone  .


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Let’s Talk.

You join a Jewish Dating  Site, and there are quite a few out there.  What do you pay monthly $12-$25 depending on the site and the services you sign up for? Think about the price, it is probably what you spend on coffee for the week – ah the coffee is probably more. 

You decide to check out one of the many single’s events in your area, you go and have a good time. But no success in meeting someone

You decide to check out one of the many trips for single’s today, you go and have an amazing time seeing a different country – or enjoyig a cruise. But no success in meeting someone.

You now join one of the many on-line Jewish sites you get matches – you go out on dates, but no success.

You may live in an area with limited Jew’s, and or know most in the area. Or you live in one of the “Big” cities but age wise out of the 2o-40 range, and it may be more difficult to meet someone. You speak to us on the phone and you are fully aware of these “challenges to dating” . Of course – you can’t and don’t  give up you continue to go on the single’s events, the trips, social networking, trying to meet someone that you will be compatible with and can have  a serious relationship.

So where am I going with this..if you are on the site’s it is because you haven’t met someone up to now. You want help looking for and potentially to meet someone. We can’t guarantee the success of the site. We can’t quarantee how many matches you will receive or if they will be mutually accepted or not. We can’t quarantee that today you will meet someone. We can try our best in helping in the process.

We speak with you on the phone – and you mention how difficult it is to meet, then you ask how many people on the site will you be compatible with? You ask how many people in your area, as you mention you know everyone and can you find me someone “new”. The challenges are there.

So this is my question – for the price of a few cups of coffee, you can be on the site and get the benefits of it, we may not have a match – for you but do you question when you go on the single’s event – or the trips – or you have been dating for years with no luck and you are spending so much – do you ask for your money back from all the other places?

Try and see what we can do, it may take just a few weeks, months, or years, but it is one more option available to you – so for the price of those coffee’s take a chance. But just try to enjoy the Jewish Dating Services  out there and available to you

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