Jewish Dating Blog | The inside scoop – Jewish Dating wisdom from the Matchmaker

Archive for February 2010

Purim – It is a day to hide behind the mask. We dress up, and play make believe. We can be who ever we want to. Many people get a little drunk, and we “stamp” out Haman’s name when we read the Megillah.  Maybe we should think about this.

Today more and more people are asking when dating, one question. What is it? How does he/she look? We ask about the physical being of the person before anything else. Let’s think about this. We also play dating “games” you say you are serious but never actually follow through on matches. You call a person and figure if the conversation doesn’t go well – why bother to give it a second chance. You go out on a date, but it may not go well – so instead of being a little considerate and making the best of the situation, you leave through the back (maybe without even settling the bill). Instead of giving it a chance or being more open.  

Physical look

What attributes this person has, not if they are a good person, or what type of family they are from. We look first at the physical. I am not saying this is wrong, of course we want to be attracted to our partner, and there has to be chemistry, but attraction and chemistry can also grow. Who the person is, and what they can bring to the relationship probably won’t. Are they kind, considerate, can they be a provider, and you don’t need to have a great profession today to be able to provide for your family (as we have seen with so many people out of work) you need someone who can be there through emotional support, hardships that will happen in your daily life.

Socially

You want someone who is committed – not into the “partying” ( or maybe you still want this) but think if this is how you want to be as you want to begin a relationship – are you still trying to be a kid, maybe it is time to “grow up”.It is time to stop hiding behind the masks, playing make believe, and stamping out what isn’t right. It is time to make commitments, be realistic, and maybe take a few more chances.

Purim Semach

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It seems like we have gone full circle, today hearing Matchmaker, Matchmaker make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch…is not so uncommon. Between the on-line Jewish Dating Sites, and an actual matchmaker working for you, this has become the way of the 90′s and now ’10′s

I decided to see how popular this word has become on-line and just bringing up the word – you get on-line matchmaker services, a list of professional matchmaker’s and there now is even a course to become a Professional Matchmaker – Certificate upon completion

So why today is this process not just for the religious communities anymore? Is it because Jewish Dating has become so difficult? Or that we spend so much time working, playing and being involved in so many different activities that we can’t meet anyone   

Having a matchmaker is very common today. Is this concept considered “buying love” – or paying for a service? It is just one more outlet out there for dating today, and the Jewish Matchmaker has become the way of the present as well. 

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With JEWISH DATING, what is very important at any age is to Network. At any age, Jewish Dating is not just saying you are ready, it is the start to informing everyone you are ready.

You have to get out there, speak to people, and use every possible means to finding yourself a partner. I know this is easy to say, but how do you go about this?

First lets look at some of the conventional ways, in Networking in Jewish Dating . If you are religious you may choose to use a Shaddchan, (Matchmaker). For this it is best to speak to people in your community, or your local Rabbi to find out who is the best Shadchan for your age and religious level. But wait, more and more people are using Shadchan’s and today you do not have to be “frum” to use  one. There are services, and the internet to help you find them. There are even on-line sites’ such as Sawyouatsinai and Jretromatch that take the idea of you having a Shadchan ( Matchmaker) and they work with you, to finding you matches.

Jewish Singles’ event’s. This has been a typical way to meet and mingle. Every local community run’s event’s and it just requires you to ask around, look in the local Jewish Paper’s, and internet search,  to find some. From Speed-dating, to Dinner’s Party’s and now wonderful Single’s Vacation’s.

Jewish Adventure Clubs. If you are Athletic there are many out there from Skiing Clubs, to Hiking.

Then you have the real NETWORK - friends, family, neighbor’s, and co-workers. Speak to people, ask around you can’t be shy. Inform people you are wanting to meet, and tell them the type of person you are looking for. Ask them to speak to others and “put your name out” Start going out more, get yourself known in your community. If people don’t know who you are it makes it very difficult.

Just remember – you can’t just sit around and expect something to happen – today you have to be a little more pro-active, so just get out there and help make it happen.

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